Year End Reflection

Me oh my.  It has been quite a while!  This year has been a tumultuous roller coaster.  I have reached my breaking point more than once.  It has been an incredibly challenging year professionally and I have learned and grown a whole heck of a lot.

In the beginning of the year during returning teacher training, Ms. W had us all complete an exercise.  Everyone was given an index card upon which we were to write how we will transform students' lives this year.  We were then asked to put that card somewhere we could see it regularly and reflect on it.  I put mine in the drawer where I keep sticky notes, staples, paper clips, and items that distract tiny hands during my lessons.  Amidst all that clutter, I will occasionally stop to reread the words as I hunt around for a cough drop:

"I will transform students' lives by exposing them to a medium of self-expression they may not have known.  I will help them to find or build a new confidence.  I will lead some of them to discover a new passion." 

The year has almost officially come to a close.  Students had their last day of classes yesterday; I have packed my old classroom in preparation for moving to a new space; today is our last full day to work.  A few things in these final crazy weeks have demonstrated to me that I did meet this goal.

In my final classes with one section of Pre-K, for a final reflection, I asked them to tell me their favourite thing we had done in drama.  We reviewed our units and some activities we had done, then each child had a turn to share.  Many said puppets (because, well, four-year-old memory is not strong and that's what we just wrapped up), but then came a surprise.  About halfway through the circle, one student became suddenly shy when it was her turn.  "What was your favourite thing in drama?" I prompted.  "Drama teacher," she replied.

Well damn.

My heart absolutely melted.  Several students in the rest of the circle echoed that.  As Maya Angelou said, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."  Building relationships with students is something I strive for above most else - and to have that so lovingly affirmed by a sweet five-year-old was amazing.

Later that day two of my first grade classes showcased their readers' theatre for their parents (and rocked, might I add!).  Longtime readers may recall HY, one of my best friends last year; she was back for a surprise visit and came to watch, as she taught many of those students last year.  After the showcase, we were walking back to my classroom with a parent.  The two of them chattered in Korean, although at one point they switched over to English as the parent told me that her third grade son absolutely loves drama (which he's had for about five periods this year?).  Cool that I made such an impression!

HY later shared with me that in their Korean conversation, they had been talking about me.  The parent had been saying that I have a wonderful reputation with the mums for my passion about the program and level of caring for the students.  Apparently they think I am a "solid" teacher and they hope that I will stay for a long time.

A few highlights from my G1 students' year-end reflections on "one new thing [they] learned in G1 drama":

"How actors practice."
"I learned to be confident."
"I learned that I like drama."
"I learned how not to be shy."
"It is fun."
"I learned to not talk with friends in Ms. Hudkins' class."
"I learned that when we are shy but when you do it, it's not shy."
"How to show expression and fluency.  Also I learned lots of ways to act."
"Being brave when you go to the stage."
"I learned how to have the best drama time!"
"I learned that I grew up."

A few very thoughtful responses from seven-year-olds!

Sometimes I think I might be too hard on myself.  I spend a lot of time analyzing everything I could and should do - more thoughtful lesson and unit planning, different assessment tactics, better classroom management.  While all that may be true, the last few weeks of school have reminded me that I've got at least one thing right:  the human connection.  And I've gotta say, I think that's one of the most important things.

Here's to a summer of relaxation and adventure, and an exciting new year to come.

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Currently reading:  waiting to start anything until I take off on Saturday
Current high:  2 sleeps to Europe!!!
Current low:  saying goodbye to kiddos who won't be back next year

The Days That Remind Me Why

Well, well, well.  This may be my longest hiatus yet!  And for the most part, I can chalk it up to one thing:  the all-school musical.  With grades 4 through 11, with 59 students in the cast and crew, we put on Mulan Jr.  There where trials and tribulations at every turn, but right before spring break, the kids put on an amazing show - I am so proud to call them mine :)

I may reflect on that soon, but not today.  Today is about the days that remind me why I teach.  Because today I had one of those days.

Last night while out to dinner with a couple of friends, I had to leave early because I felt horribly ill.  I slept for twelve hours straight and still had to drag myself out of bed in the morning, a headache still nagging at me.  I must say, I was not looking forward to my back-to-back-to-back kindergarten classes!  I hadn't had my kindergarteners in almost three weeks, between spring break and Mulan rehearsals, so I wasn't sure where they'd be at.  Fortunately, the first two lessons were fine - and the last one was spectacular.

The last class has sticker charts for single-subject classes, which their homeroom teachers keep.  Each time they earn a sticker, they can have extra free choice time at the end of the week.  I told the students that my goal for today was for everyone to earn a sticker.  I promised to give a "sticker reminder" if we started to get a little too silly or unfocused.

Well.  They took that idea and ran with it.  When a student saw a friend who was starting to lose control, he or she would say, "sticker reminder!"  The first time this happened, my student MK stopped what he was doing, sat down properly, and said to his friend, "Thank you for the reminder."  I was floored!  I stopped the class to call attention to the exchange, highlighting how kind and helpful the friend was, and how MK reacted in a way that was very respectful and thoughtful.  Patterns such as that continued for the rest of the period.  We got through everything I had planned as well as an extension of the lesson, setting them up for great success as we jump into rehearsals for the kindergarten play tomorrow.

Today showed me that the idea of ensemble, teamwork, and collective responsibility that I have been trying to teach all year has really taken root with these kids.  They worked together effectively and respectfully, assuming a positive intent in others and taking their advice to heart.  And they're only six years old!

Oh, and they all earned a cute cupcake sticker today.  Their teachers cried :')

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Currently reading:  Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
Current high:  a magical spring break with two of my best friends
Current low:  still not feeling 100%

Light in a Dark Space

This has been the hardest week I have had in a long time.  The MS play scheduled for last weekend was unexpectedly postponed to the middle of this week; the VS play tech was this week as well; two of the VS concerts finished off Friday; auditions for the CI musical were held throughout the week.  Not to mention continuing my regular teaching commitments, collaborative planning meetings, and fighting a nasty virus.  Of course, this is all fun and exciting stuff (except the virus) - but when it's happening all at once, it's a little much.

Despite the late nights, weekend hours, paint fumes, stress attacks, skipped meals, and intense frustration, a few gems have also made this one of the best weeks I've had.  Some highlights...

* Exchanging elementary school jokes with a music teacher during a concert rehearsal.
* An email from a MS student who we struggled with in last year's play.  This year she was a joy, and she emailed SW and me a short but sweet and sincere thank you.
* Having a heartfelt moment with a new K student who told me he was worried to come into class because he has never done drama before.  He had a great day :)
* Coming in for the afternoon of a half sick day to find a just-because card from one of my first graders who LOVES drama.
* Playing with a new PK student, who told me my nose stud is an indication that "Zombies killed [my] nose."
* Dinner with two of my dearest friends!
* An amazingly fun Open House - going on a bear hunt with prospective PK students and parents, and playing drama games with G3 prospies.

And to top it all off - my dad arrives in Korea in just a couple hours :)

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Currently reading:  PS Be Eleven by Rita Williams Garcia
Current high:  T-80 minutes to Dad's arrival!
Current low:  haven't quite kicked the virus yet...soon, soon :)

Get Up And Go

As you may recall, the other day I had a Bad Day.  I had to hold the reins pretty tight in my G3 class, so I know some of them were less than thrilled with me; then most of my kindergarteners in my back-to-back-to-back classes were out of control.  Plus a few weird interactions with kids left me slightly shaken.  By day's end, I felt defeated.  I took half an hour between my last class and drama club rehearsal to walk to Starbucks.  I strolled toward my salvation - a dirty soy chai and chocolate muffin - listening to my "Happy" playlist and musing over how to shake my funk.

One of my professional goals for this year was to improve classroom management.  Ms. W, my wonderful boss and mentor, addressed this one first in our annual goals meeting.  "It's experience," she reminded me.  "You're smart.  I know this.  You know this.  It takes time."  She was right.  I do know.  But as I mentioned, as a perfectionist, I want to get it right the first time - even though that's impossible.  My struggles with classroom management frustrate me to no end.

One suggestion Ms. W gave me was to observe my students in their homeroom classes.  Watch how the classroom teacher and intern manage them.  Steal the language they use, the signals they show, the methods they employ to keep particular students and the class as a whole under control.

As I ambled along, this advice occurred to me.  I had thought of her suggestion a few times over the past month, but there was always something more pressing.  I ought to freshen up that bulletin board, or tidy up this part of the classroom, or organize the costumes for the upcoming play.  No more, I decided - I've hit my breaking point.  It's time to make this a priority.

When I got back to school, I sat down to draft an email.  I wrote to all the PK and K teachers to inform them that I plan to observe in their classrooms on a specific day this week, assuming it suits their schedules.  (Thanks to a G1 field trip, Thursday was just waiting to be filled - serendipity!)  While I'm sure they wouldn't have minded if I just dropped in, I knew that if I sent that email, I wouldn't be able to put it off again.

I received such wonderful responses from those teachers to enthusiastically affirm my visit, confirm schedules, and even suggest guest teaching in the homeroom to change up the dynamic with the students.  What a wonderful reminder of the warm, supportive faculty community I am so lucky to be a part of.  It was such a joy to go in and take notes, engage with my students in a situation where I feel less pressure, and continue to reflect and grow.

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Currently reading:  well, do the scenes for the MS Drama Club production count?
Current high:  kindergarten hugs are the best hugs :)
Current low:  the sleep deprivation of November...

Why I Teach (Even Though I'm A Perfectionist)

As is often the case, I find that my deepest reflection - and by extension, my best posts - come from my bad days.  Today was a Bad Day.

Let me begin by saying that I am a perfectionist.  I love to do things right, I love organization, I love when everything works out just so.  This type of personality makes teaching incredibly frustrating sometimes because one never masters teaching.  I will never have foolproof classroom management or an ideal curriculum; I will never be the perfect teacher.

I have had other jobs in my life where I felt that I approached perfection.  In my summer job in middle management, coordinating overwhelming amounts of logistics, I felt pretty successful much of the time.   As a stage manager, I can call a perfect show and find common rehearsal time out of 30+ individual schedules.  And while I take a sense of pride in that work and it feels good when I "nail it," the accomplishments are not so thrilling.  Even when I do something perfectly, it does not make my heart sing.

The highs in teaching are different.  When I have a great day, an awesome student interaction, a smooth class where I can see students learning and developing - that does make my heart sing.  Even the simple joy of getting a hug from a student or hearing "I love you, Ms. H!" takes the sting out of a rough day.  The highs are higher, but the lows are lower.  And at this point, there are definitely a lot of rough days.

But of course - I am young.  I am inexperienced.  I am trying and failing (and occasionally succeeding).  I am learning so much, every single day.  As an artist; as a teacher; as a student; I should know to expect nothing different, as long as I continue to reflect and grow.

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Currently reading:  between PK report season and two plays this month, I have had precious little time to read!
Current high:  a dirty soy chai tea latte and delicious dinner made by roomie!
Current low:  November, aka the month of staying at school past 7 and continuing to work from home...

Nonmarketable Skills of Teachers

Education is a tough field.  You learn a lot, every day, and you've never really mastered it.  There are certainly some resume-worthy skills that you develop in classroom management, curriculum development, and so on...but this post is devoted to the ones that are highly important within the field, but will never make the resume.

• Making really, really straight lines -- either drawing them, or with tape.
• Sharpening pencils with remarkable speed.
• Removing staples from bulletin boards with fingernails and sheer will.
• On that note, bulletin board design.
• Super fast counting...between prepping materials (math manipulatives?  yikes!) and head counts, you get plenty of practice.
• Freehand writing in a variety of fonts - neat printing, neat cursive, block letters, bubble letters, we do it all.  And on a variety of surfaces!
• Techniques for extending the life of whiteboard markers.

Teachers, let's hear it - what skills have your time in the classroom given you that you can never use to your advantage in a job interview?

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Currently reading:  after my marathon 14 books during vacation, I'm between books!
Current high:  off to a physical theatre workshop tomorrow with SW - stay tuned for a follow-up post
Current low: overwhelmed by being back in the role of directing, designing, managing, AND producing a single show - I miss my awesome production teams!

An Ode To Shoelessness

SW and I both have a no-shoes policy in our drama studios.  It began with her class last year being in a room with a marley floor which she wanted to maintain - so of course, no outside shoes.  But this year, both of us have carpeted spaces, and I have committed to the no shoe policy.  And let me tell you - I love it.  Here's a few reasons why I firmly believe in taking off shoes before coming into drama.

• Routine.  By taking off their shoes as they enter the space, students are making a physical shift.  This can also help them make the mental shift to being in a space for imagination, creativity, exploration, and play.
• Hygiene.  My room has absolutely no furniture in it other than my desk chair (which I would change out for an exercise ball in a heartbeat).  As such, we spend a lot of time sitting on the floor, crawling, and rolling around.  I would prefer not to have outside yuck all over the carpet (which is fortunately vacuumed daily - thank you, cleaning staff!).
• Grounding.  With shoes off, I feel more connected to the earth.  I can feel the way my feet settle into the floor as I stand and roll from heel to toe as I step.  It's easier to plant myself, stand tall, walk confident.
• Character.  Building upon that - shoes give you character.  The way I feel when I wear my Toms is very different from the way I feel in my bad-bitch-in-charge boots is very different from the way I feel with my running shoes on.  They change the way I move, they change my attitude.  This is even more true for actors - putting on the costume shoes of your character settles you into their personality.
• Stress.  My friend RC is a fantastic director, and I stage managed her shows throughout college.  Before every rehearsal she would take off her shoes.  "You release stress through your feet," she told me.
• Comfort.  A personal benefit for the teacher - I can wear shoes that are cute but not super comfortable or practical for teaching, because I'll take them off as soon as I walk into my room.  I only need them for the walk to and from school and quick jaunts around.  Plus my shoes hold up better and last longer!

But of course, as with all things, there are a few complications.

• Timing.  Ever try to see how long it takes for 20 four-year-olds to take their shoes off and - better yet - put them back on?  Oof.  Particularly with the really little ones, try to have a teacher or two on hand at the beginning and end of class to help with shoelaces and getting shoes on the correct feet.
• Emergencies.  I remember when I was in elementary school, that was the reason always cited for needing to keep our shoes on.  If there's a fire drill in January and you've got a class full of unshod kiddos, be prepared to have them grab their shoes and walk.
• Storage.  This is a problem SW is having at current.  In my Village School classroom, I am lucky enough to have rows of built-in cubbies in which the students can store shoes, socks, water bottles, and jackets.  Without the lockers she requested, SW is having trouble finding a tidy place for 18 pairs of shoes.

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Currently reading:  Orange Is The New Black by Piper Kerman - first read of the newly founded faculty book club!
Current high:  it's Friday and T-2 days to Cebu!
Current low:  a verrrrrry sleepy week...but kiddos' energy will pick me back up :)