Oh goodness. My dear readers. I am SO sorry for my lengthy absence from posting! I felt like I didn't have anything new and interesting to say for a while there. But yesterday I had a really surprising and thought-provoking experience that I would love to share.
For our current project in science lab, one class struggled to put themselves into groups, so they were assigned to groups of four at random. One particular group is composed of three boys and one girls. This isn't all that unusual - there's more boys than girls in grade three this year, so they're all able to cope. At one point, the female student in this group, RL, came to me to express her frustration. She told me that the boys wouldn't tell her their plans for the project or let her help. This isn't all that unusual - I have had similar conversations with lots of groups of all different compositions. I went over and spoke with all of them about functioning as a team and including all members in the design process. After addressing both factions' concerns, I left them with one of the boys, RK, explaining their vision to the whole group.
A few minutes later, RL stormed up to me again, telling me the boys wouldn't let her help because what they were doing was "too dangerous" and she couldn't do it because she was a girl. I was absolutely floored by this. I went to the group again, and asked them why the task (cutting a hole into a plastic bottle) was too dangerous for a girl. They hemmed and hawed and said they didn't know. I asked if it was too dangerous for me, and they said of course not. I introduced them to the term "sexism" and explained that girls can do anything boys can do. We connected to one of our core values, fairness, highlighting that it's not fair to tell girls there is something they cannot do simply because of who they are.
I walked away from the interaction with a sour taste in my mouth, and I felt like I hadn't handled it as well as I could have. Obviously I think it is so important to educate my students on equality at a young age, especially in a culture as patriarchal as South Korea. But in that moment, I felt powerless to articulate that in an appropriate away. I could explain it to a high school student, a college student, an adult. I simply felt that I had not done everything I could with that teachable moment. I agonized over it all evening, discussing it with a friend and ultimately emailing my principal, a fellow feminist educator.
I had a chance to sit down with Ms. W this morning, which was so useful. She reminded me that one important thing to celebrate was that RL did recognize that the situation was wrong, and she stood up and took action when she was a victim of sexism. She also pointed out that even though I may not feel 100% confident in the way I handled the situation, I modeled for RL how to question their behavior and opened a dialogue with those boys. She encouraged me to continue the discussion with the whole class, and reminded me that it's all about the small conversations - I am not going to teach my students to smash the patriarchy in a single day.
Right after that discussion, I had about ten minutes with my class, so I did just that. I began by explaining that something had happened during science lab the previous day that had made me uncomfortable, and I wanted to discuss it with all of them. Without using names, I explained that there had been some boys who told a girl there was something she couldn't do because it was too dangerous for girls. I told them my feelings that it is not fair for girls to be denied tasks and roles within groups because of their sex or gender, and asked for their responses.
We got into some really interesting stuff - one student said he thinks boys are more embarrassed or ashamed if a girl beats them or is better than them. Some feelings about organized sports in P.E. also came out, with the girls explaining that they are often told they have to be on defense and they never get the ball. One male student, SL, was saying that boys have stronger muscles and are better at kicking. This particular boy's older sister is a soccer superstar, so I pointed that out to him, which seemed to make him reconsider and think in a new way.
Unfortunately we had to cut the conversation short because I forgot I needed to go teach science downstairs (oops), but I thanked them all for discussing their thoughts and ideas with me because it is something I am very passionate about. I also let them know that I am eager to continue the conversations, either as a class, in small groups, or individually. I also took a moment later to reach out to RL and tell her how proud I was that when she had people behave toward her in a way that she knew was wrong, she stood up and took action. I am really interested to see how this will affect their classroom dynamic and interactions in the coming days.
Before I close, I want to say how
grateful I am. I have supportive mentors who inspire me to reach new
heights. I have patient friends who listen to me rant and rave about
feminism and pick their brains, and who aren't afraid to challenge me. I
have a family who gave me an incredible upbringing that allowed me to
become open-minded and accepting. I have amazing students who are little
sponges, always learning and synthesising and constructing new
knowledge.
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Currently reading: The Prince of Fenway Park
Current high: long weekend ahead, finally making a trip out to Seoraksan and the East Coast
Current low: low on sleep so far this week
