Light in a Dark Space

This has been the hardest week I have had in a long time.  The MS play scheduled for last weekend was unexpectedly postponed to the middle of this week; the VS play tech was this week as well; two of the VS concerts finished off Friday; auditions for the CI musical were held throughout the week.  Not to mention continuing my regular teaching commitments, collaborative planning meetings, and fighting a nasty virus.  Of course, this is all fun and exciting stuff (except the virus) - but when it's happening all at once, it's a little much.

Despite the late nights, weekend hours, paint fumes, stress attacks, skipped meals, and intense frustration, a few gems have also made this one of the best weeks I've had.  Some highlights...

* Exchanging elementary school jokes with a music teacher during a concert rehearsal.
* An email from a MS student who we struggled with in last year's play.  This year she was a joy, and she emailed SW and me a short but sweet and sincere thank you.
* Having a heartfelt moment with a new K student who told me he was worried to come into class because he has never done drama before.  He had a great day :)
* Coming in for the afternoon of a half sick day to find a just-because card from one of my first graders who LOVES drama.
* Playing with a new PK student, who told me my nose stud is an indication that "Zombies killed [my] nose."
* Dinner with two of my dearest friends!
* An amazingly fun Open House - going on a bear hunt with prospective PK students and parents, and playing drama games with G3 prospies.

And to top it all off - my dad arrives in Korea in just a couple hours :)

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Currently reading:  PS Be Eleven by Rita Williams Garcia
Current high:  T-80 minutes to Dad's arrival!
Current low:  haven't quite kicked the virus yet...soon, soon :)

Get Up And Go

As you may recall, the other day I had a Bad Day.  I had to hold the reins pretty tight in my G3 class, so I know some of them were less than thrilled with me; then most of my kindergarteners in my back-to-back-to-back classes were out of control.  Plus a few weird interactions with kids left me slightly shaken.  By day's end, I felt defeated.  I took half an hour between my last class and drama club rehearsal to walk to Starbucks.  I strolled toward my salvation - a dirty soy chai and chocolate muffin - listening to my "Happy" playlist and musing over how to shake my funk.

One of my professional goals for this year was to improve classroom management.  Ms. W, my wonderful boss and mentor, addressed this one first in our annual goals meeting.  "It's experience," she reminded me.  "You're smart.  I know this.  You know this.  It takes time."  She was right.  I do know.  But as I mentioned, as a perfectionist, I want to get it right the first time - even though that's impossible.  My struggles with classroom management frustrate me to no end.

One suggestion Ms. W gave me was to observe my students in their homeroom classes.  Watch how the classroom teacher and intern manage them.  Steal the language they use, the signals they show, the methods they employ to keep particular students and the class as a whole under control.

As I ambled along, this advice occurred to me.  I had thought of her suggestion a few times over the past month, but there was always something more pressing.  I ought to freshen up that bulletin board, or tidy up this part of the classroom, or organize the costumes for the upcoming play.  No more, I decided - I've hit my breaking point.  It's time to make this a priority.

When I got back to school, I sat down to draft an email.  I wrote to all the PK and K teachers to inform them that I plan to observe in their classrooms on a specific day this week, assuming it suits their schedules.  (Thanks to a G1 field trip, Thursday was just waiting to be filled - serendipity!)  While I'm sure they wouldn't have minded if I just dropped in, I knew that if I sent that email, I wouldn't be able to put it off again.

I received such wonderful responses from those teachers to enthusiastically affirm my visit, confirm schedules, and even suggest guest teaching in the homeroom to change up the dynamic with the students.  What a wonderful reminder of the warm, supportive faculty community I am so lucky to be a part of.  It was such a joy to go in and take notes, engage with my students in a situation where I feel less pressure, and continue to reflect and grow.

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Currently reading:  well, do the scenes for the MS Drama Club production count?
Current high:  kindergarten hugs are the best hugs :)
Current low:  the sleep deprivation of November...

Why I Teach (Even Though I'm A Perfectionist)

As is often the case, I find that my deepest reflection - and by extension, my best posts - come from my bad days.  Today was a Bad Day.

Let me begin by saying that I am a perfectionist.  I love to do things right, I love organization, I love when everything works out just so.  This type of personality makes teaching incredibly frustrating sometimes because one never masters teaching.  I will never have foolproof classroom management or an ideal curriculum; I will never be the perfect teacher.

I have had other jobs in my life where I felt that I approached perfection.  In my summer job in middle management, coordinating overwhelming amounts of logistics, I felt pretty successful much of the time.   As a stage manager, I can call a perfect show and find common rehearsal time out of 30+ individual schedules.  And while I take a sense of pride in that work and it feels good when I "nail it," the accomplishments are not so thrilling.  Even when I do something perfectly, it does not make my heart sing.

The highs in teaching are different.  When I have a great day, an awesome student interaction, a smooth class where I can see students learning and developing - that does make my heart sing.  Even the simple joy of getting a hug from a student or hearing "I love you, Ms. H!" takes the sting out of a rough day.  The highs are higher, but the lows are lower.  And at this point, there are definitely a lot of rough days.

But of course - I am young.  I am inexperienced.  I am trying and failing (and occasionally succeeding).  I am learning so much, every single day.  As an artist; as a teacher; as a student; I should know to expect nothing different, as long as I continue to reflect and grow.

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Currently reading:  between PK report season and two plays this month, I have had precious little time to read!
Current high:  a dirty soy chai tea latte and delicious dinner made by roomie!
Current low:  November, aka the month of staying at school past 7 and continuing to work from home...

Nonmarketable Skills of Teachers

Education is a tough field.  You learn a lot, every day, and you've never really mastered it.  There are certainly some resume-worthy skills that you develop in classroom management, curriculum development, and so on...but this post is devoted to the ones that are highly important within the field, but will never make the resume.

• Making really, really straight lines -- either drawing them, or with tape.
• Sharpening pencils with remarkable speed.
• Removing staples from bulletin boards with fingernails and sheer will.
• On that note, bulletin board design.
• Super fast counting...between prepping materials (math manipulatives?  yikes!) and head counts, you get plenty of practice.
• Freehand writing in a variety of fonts - neat printing, neat cursive, block letters, bubble letters, we do it all.  And on a variety of surfaces!
• Techniques for extending the life of whiteboard markers.

Teachers, let's hear it - what skills have your time in the classroom given you that you can never use to your advantage in a job interview?

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Currently reading:  after my marathon 14 books during vacation, I'm between books!
Current high:  off to a physical theatre workshop tomorrow with SW - stay tuned for a follow-up post
Current low: overwhelmed by being back in the role of directing, designing, managing, AND producing a single show - I miss my awesome production teams!

An Ode To Shoelessness

SW and I both have a no-shoes policy in our drama studios.  It began with her class last year being in a room with a marley floor which she wanted to maintain - so of course, no outside shoes.  But this year, both of us have carpeted spaces, and I have committed to the no shoe policy.  And let me tell you - I love it.  Here's a few reasons why I firmly believe in taking off shoes before coming into drama.

• Routine.  By taking off their shoes as they enter the space, students are making a physical shift.  This can also help them make the mental shift to being in a space for imagination, creativity, exploration, and play.
• Hygiene.  My room has absolutely no furniture in it other than my desk chair (which I would change out for an exercise ball in a heartbeat).  As such, we spend a lot of time sitting on the floor, crawling, and rolling around.  I would prefer not to have outside yuck all over the carpet (which is fortunately vacuumed daily - thank you, cleaning staff!).
• Grounding.  With shoes off, I feel more connected to the earth.  I can feel the way my feet settle into the floor as I stand and roll from heel to toe as I step.  It's easier to plant myself, stand tall, walk confident.
• Character.  Building upon that - shoes give you character.  The way I feel when I wear my Toms is very different from the way I feel in my bad-bitch-in-charge boots is very different from the way I feel with my running shoes on.  They change the way I move, they change my attitude.  This is even more true for actors - putting on the costume shoes of your character settles you into their personality.
• Stress.  My friend RC is a fantastic director, and I stage managed her shows throughout college.  Before every rehearsal she would take off her shoes.  "You release stress through your feet," she told me.
• Comfort.  A personal benefit for the teacher - I can wear shoes that are cute but not super comfortable or practical for teaching, because I'll take them off as soon as I walk into my room.  I only need them for the walk to and from school and quick jaunts around.  Plus my shoes hold up better and last longer!

But of course, as with all things, there are a few complications.

• Timing.  Ever try to see how long it takes for 20 four-year-olds to take their shoes off and - better yet - put them back on?  Oof.  Particularly with the really little ones, try to have a teacher or two on hand at the beginning and end of class to help with shoelaces and getting shoes on the correct feet.
• Emergencies.  I remember when I was in elementary school, that was the reason always cited for needing to keep our shoes on.  If there's a fire drill in January and you've got a class full of unshod kiddos, be prepared to have them grab their shoes and walk.
• Storage.  This is a problem SW is having at current.  In my Village School classroom, I am lucky enough to have rows of built-in cubbies in which the students can store shoes, socks, water bottles, and jackets.  Without the lockers she requested, SW is having trouble finding a tidy place for 18 pairs of shoes.

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Currently reading:  Orange Is The New Black by Piper Kerman - first read of the newly founded faculty book club!
Current high:  it's Friday and T-2 days to Cebu!
Current low:  a verrrrrry sleepy week...but kiddos' energy will pick me back up :)

This I Believe

My school uses a web service for faculty goal setting, which my principal uses to guide semi-annual meetings with all Village School faculty.  In addition to our three to four goals for the year (more on that later), we are also to include...

• personal and professional accomplishments (the hardest one for me - suggestions welcome, y'all)
• five words which we use to describe ourselves (passionate, reflective, loving, justice-oriented, and driven)
• a personal narrative

The prompt for the narrative is to "give the reader insight as to what you believe, why you chose education, and where you are or where you aspire to be on your professional journey."  This is really only shared with Ms. W, but as I revised my statement from the 2013-2014 school year, I realized I wanted to share it here as well.

You all know just how much I love reflection, so here goes...
For years, I have found myself at my happiest when I am with children.  In high school, I came home from babysitting jobs beaming with delight.  Even in my deepest depressions, spending time with kids was one of the few things that could pull me out of it.  Spending my days with students is an immense privilege.  Building relationships with them and then using that camaraderie to establish a learning community fills my heart with unspeakable joy.
One of the things that I value most highly in my own educational philosophy is recognizing the whole child.  I strongly believe in taking time whenever possible to talk to my students as people, learning about their lives, their families, their likes and dislikes, their dreams and goals.  My favourite moments with students are often chatting or being silly during lunch or recess, and my genuine interest in their lives leads to an open and trusting relationship.  With this insight, I can be a better teacher to them academically, socially, and emotionally.  I want to empower my students to follow their passions, stand up for what is right, and make their voices heard.
As an educator, I am motivated by my constant desire for self-improvement, always wanting to do a little bit better than the time before.  Reflective practice was highly encouraged in my teacher preparation program, and it has become deeply ingrained in the way that I teach and live.  As I implement a lesson, I am constantly adapting and considering how I could do things differently next time to be more effective or engaging.  Teaching has also been very humbling for me and is helping me with my tendency toward perfectionism; the perfect is the enemy of the good, and in teaching, there is no "perfect."
I believe that learning is most effective when students feel safe in their learning environment and engaged by the subject material.  In my first full year of teaching, I felt that creating a safe environment with solid student-teacher relationships was a strength of mine.  Now as a specialist, I feel with more conviction than ever that the material needs to "grab students by their brains," so to speak.  I hope that "future me" will be a confident, loving, and passionate educator who is constantly open to learning new things from her students and colleagues alike.
I have no idea where my journey as a teacher will take me, but I am always looking to challenge myself.  In stepping into my role as VS drama specialist for this year, I am in completely uncharted territory.  I am creating a program for which I have never seen or experienced a model; I have no idea what an elementary drama classroom or program looks like other than the one my students and I are creating.  While that is in turns overwhelming, scary, and exhausting - it is also exhilarating.  I am so excited to collaborate with homeroom teachers, other arts specialists, and the MS/US drama program to lay the foundation for a truly dynamic program.  I hope to help students explore a mode of self-expression they had not known before; find or build a new confidence; and possibly discover a new passion.

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Currently reading:  From The Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E. L. Konigsburg
Current high:  four more school days until vacation, six days until Cebu!  I swear, we are going to paradise
Current low:  dwelling overmuch on a future over which I have only so much control

Feminist Nomenclature

A few years ago, my good friend MN excitedly Google Chatted me.  "Grace!" she exclaimed.  "Do I want to be Miss N or Ms. N?"  I immediately responded, "I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT MS."

Allow me to explain.

How do you formally introduce a man, or what do you call him if he's your teacher?  The default is Mr. Fill-In-The-Blank.  The only other really likely one in academic settings is Dr. Whatever, or Professor So-And-So at the collegiate level.  What about women?  Well, if she's married, it's probably Mrs., but maybe not, and if she's single, then it's definitely Miss, or is it?  And again, maybe she has a doctoral degree, which throws a whole new wrench into matters.  Horrible mess.

Now, a quick disclaimer:  these are my personal views.  When couples join together, they modify their names for any number of reasons.  I know families who:
* both took a new name which held significance for them as individuals and as a couple
* both took both names as a hyphenate
* each kept their name
* both had hyphenated last names, and each took one half of their hyphenate to create a new hyphenate
* combined their last names to make a new one
* both took on the name of one partner

None of these is wrong, and none is The Right Way To Do Things.  What I hate is the assumption that a woman should take her husband's name upon marriage.  (Really I hate when anyone tells women they should do anything, but that's another matter entirely.)  My mother kept her name when she married, and my father jokes that she let him keep his name, too.  But as a young woman in the 1980s, my mother came across so many women who were truly confused by her choice to remain Ms. B instead of Mrs. H.  "But I'm proud of my husband," they would say to her.  Sure, she was proud of hers too.  But why was the expectation that she would take his name to "prove" that?

So back to Ms.  The moniker was introduced as a neutral term that did not imply a woman's marital status at all, just like Mr. for men.  Why should a woman's identity be so altered by a marriage certificate, but not a man's?  I remember around the age of nine telling my mother that I was never changing my name.  I wavered on this for a while during a serious relationship I was in a few years ago, but am back to being fairly certain that I do not want to change my name when and if I wed.  I have been Grace H for my entire life and I absolutely love my last name - why should I change who I am for someone else?  I would consider combining names, hyphenating, or something of that ilk, but only if my partner and I were both going to make that change.  (Again - these are MY personal feelings about MY name, and every individual and couple has to discuss and decide for themselves.  There is no Right Way or Wrong Way.)

With my particular population of primary ELL students, are they going to realize the weight of my choice to be Ms. H rather than Miss H?  Probably not.  (Many don't even recognize the different between Ms. and Miss anyway!)  Some of my colleagues might.  I always refer to colleagues as Ms. unless asked to do otherwise.  But for me, I own it as my personal choice.  I am Ms. H, and I define my own identity.

(Special thanks to my career mentor, DS, for inspiring this post - this is largely based upon a conversation he initiated during a professional development lunch in the summer of 2012.  See also this NYT article on Ms.)

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Currently reading:  just finished Chains by Laurie Halse Anderson
Current high:  halfway to our first vacation!
Current low:  just a melancholy evening

Name Games Are NOT For The Teacher

For my first week of drama classes, as my daily game for each grade level, I chose an appropriate drama-oriented name game.  Each new class I learned ways to make my instructions a little better and a little faster and a little tighter.  But did they help me learn ANY names?  Not really.  I was too focused on classroom management, supporting students who were nervous or shy, and keeping the lesson going.  For the grade levels with which I am working, where there are many new students, I do not regret playing name games, as they are useful for the students in ensemble building. However, to help myself learn names, it was time to try a different tack.

As a specialist, I will spend the year working regularly with over 200 students.  When you add in the fact that I will likely do a unit each with G2 through G5...well, basically I need to know the names of every single one of the 500+ students in the Village School.  No sweat.

One of the most impressive professors I have ever had, BP, knew everyone's names on day one.  She came to the first class armed with a class list with all of our photos.  As a student walked in, she would look at the student's face - then down at her list - then at the student - then at the list.  Then BP would look the student in the eye and greet her by name.

To me, there are two main benefits to knowing each child by name.  The first is in terms of management.  Naturally, the names a teacher learns first are the names he or she has to say a lot - reminders to sit down, raise your hand before speaking, keep your hands to yourself.  Being able to call a student's attention by name makes you ten times more effective.

The second (and I would say more important) reason it is important to know every name is because it makes students feel good.  When you can greet a child by name, they feel so much more special than if you simply say "hello."  Simply adding their name to your warm greeting can go so far in establishing relationships and building community within your classroom and the school as a whole.

So without further ado, here are Ms. H's tips and tricks for learning student names!

1.  Many homeroom teachers, especially in the primary years, will have taken a photo of each student for some kind of class project.  Ask if they can email those to you with a corresponding list of  students' names.  (Hint for classroom teachers - if you want your specialists to LOVE you, bring a list of pictures and names to your very first class!  Kudos to Mrs. R in G1.)  Stare at them.  Quiz yourself.  Practice, practice, practice.

2.  In a similar vein, check out the school's yearbook.  Obviously this doesn't help much with Pre-K or with new students, but it can give you a start with those vaguely familiar faces.  I find this less helpful than having a list by classroom - knowing which class the student is in can provide you a context that makes it easier to remember them.

3.  Sit in and observe the class when possible, particularly during morning meeting or other circle activities.  I find that my best memorization happens when I am looking at the child and saying her or his name to myself a few times.  However, this only works when I am NOT the lead teacher - with primary teaching, one does not have the luxury to pause the lesson, stare at the child for a few seconds, then move on.

How do YOU learn new names?  Have a favourite name game, or another suggestion?  Share in the comments, and good luck to us all!

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Currently reading:  Creating Drama with 4-7 Year Olds by Miles Tandy and Jo Howell
Current high:  found the book above as well as a few other great resources in our school library last week!  Feeling so excited about my curriculum :)
Current low:  this weekend was the wedding of one of my dearest friends (referenced in this post) - so sorry not to be there to celebrate with her

My third first year of teaching

To begin:  yesterday was a long day.  Yesterday was a hard day.  Yesterday was a day when I needed to go back and read posts from when I was over-the-moon happy and in love with my work and my students.

The day began slowly.  My first class was at 11:00, so I spent the morning finishing preparations to my room and lesson plans.  I popped into the Pre-K parent coffee to introduce myself and my program.  By 10:30, I was done with all my big tasks and unbelievably antsy.  I ran all over trying to fill the time with tiny tasks that would make my class arrive faster.

But then it began, and of course, very few things went as planned.  I quickly observed in my first class how I should restructure the order of activities before the next group.  I considered how I could better manage kindergarteners.  I thought of how I could explain the rules more explicitly to prevent misbehaviour.  I realized ways I could have changed my plans on the fly to match the students' energy and needs.  This will surprise no one who is a teacher:  I walked out of my first day feeling like I had fallen flat on my face.

After all this, I was set to have a meeting with my MS/US counterpart and roomie, SW, but it turned into a therapy session instead.  I went through all the cliches.  "I can't do this."  "Why do I even want to be a teacher?"  "I quit!"  (Okay, clearly I was a tad melodramatic.  What can I say?  I'm a drama teacher!)  She was so, so good in talking me down.  It's only day one, she reminded me.  Set benchmarks.  Things will get better.  You'll get used to your role, the kids will get used to you and your routine and your style.  "If someone had been watching your lesson," she inquired, "what would they have told you to do differently?"  What a great tool for less harsh self-reflection.  There were a few tweaks I might have made, but not a whole lot.

In this venting session, I realized something.  This is my third time being a first-year teacher.  First in my student teaching, my first time taking the lead at all; then last year as an intern, my first full year in the classroom; and now with my first classroom of my own, and a single-subject classroom at that.  Should I move on to teach drama at other levels, it will be my first year again; or if I take on my own homeroom, I will be starting from scratch once more.  All the hard lessons of being a first-year teacher will be learned again and again.  If this restless wanderer ever makes it through 3-5 years in the same position (seems unlikely in the near future!), I hear things start to settle at that point - but even then, the learning is never done.

I was never quite sure if I was an optimist or a pessimist.  I knew myself to be, at times, cynical, idealistic, realistic, positive.  But what did that boil down to?  I wasn't sure.

As I have alluded to, this summer was weird and wonderful in so many ways.  It was the healthiest I have felt socially in years - but it was also, at times, trying and challenging.  I had two experiences in particular where I came out feeling, for lack of a better word, icky.  But then something shifted.  With each of those nights, I made a conscious choice the following day to focus on a silver lining.  Neither instance was wholly bad; each of them had some golden nugget of validation waiting to be mined out.  Now, a month past it, I treasure both of those nights for the compliments and validation of friends rather than the emotional turmoil mixed in.

I decided to make a similar move with my first day as a drama teacher.  Was it a perfect day?  Nope.  Would I even call it a good day?  Not likely.  But here's what I am choosing to focus on:  while it was a steep learning curve, I took it.  As each class progressed, I thought of how I could change the lesson, make things better.  Even after all three kindergarten classes were done,  I contemplated how I could change things like introducing my system for management, which I am getting to try eight more times with my pre-K and G1 classes.  I am focusing on my ability to learn from my students and improve myself and my work for them.

It's important for me - and all new teachers - to remind myself to be patient.  I am starting a program from scratch; I am teaching something I have never even seen before.  I am building the bike as I am riding it.  The tires may go flat, the chain may skip, but as long as I keep moving forward, I'll get there eventually.  Plus I have great safety gear - an understanding colleague, a supportive admin team, encouraging friends and family.  As I just wrote on a post-it on my bulletin board to remind myself - it will get fun again.  Ever upward!

It will get fun again - to the point I was at in this picture, filled with pure joy and love for my students and work.

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Currently reading:  Dream Class:  How To Transform Any Group Of Students Into The Class You've Always Wanted by Michael Linsin
Current high:  while bringing my lunch down to eat in my classroom, several of my now-fourth graders convinced me to come eat with them...just the pick-me-up I needed :) Also my last class of the day went FANTASTICALLY
Current low:  you'd think I'd know by now, but I still get surprised by how tired I am the first week back!

Homecomings/Homegoings

A couple years ago, I began the tradition of "monthly playlists," inspired by my friend RC.  Each month I have a fluid playlist, with the date and a title that is apropos to the month.  I will add to and remove from it at will from the first to the last day of the month - and then I will leave it.  I like to be able to look back to the songs that were meaningful to me at different stages.  This of course complements a collection of other more obviously titled playlists I have - Happy, Ch-Ch-Changes, Feminist and Fly, Gym, Folksy Girls, and so on.

In July, I was far too busy to take the time to sit down and cultivate such a playlist.  I spent most of my time on my work computer, away from my personal iTunes library, so most of my jams came from the Sara Bareilles station on Pandora or the soundtrack of Heathers: The Musical (ad infinitum).  When I first got back to Korea, I sat down to begin crafting one for August.  Last year the playlist was entitled "Noble," a play upon the word "august."  As I added songs this year, I mused over what the title should be for 2014.

Since my study abroad experience in Jerusalem back in the fall of 2011, I have grappled with the concept of "home."  Since moving (semi-)permanently overseas, that struggle has become even more complex.  When I first left the United States, my beloved alma mater was still the place that felt most like home - but is a place that will never be my home again.  My parents' home is in California, but other than them, not a lot draws me to that place anymore.  Going back further, New Hampshire and Maine were both my home at some point, yet while I still feel a sense of kinship with them, I am also far removed from both of those places.  I feel an odd sense of home in Boston, where my sister and many of my friends live, although I myself have never lived in the greater Boston area for more than a summer.  New Haven, where I was for my summer job, was a place where I felt a sense of belonging unlike I have in years.  And now back in Korea - where my address is, where my work is, where most of my life happens.

So when people ask the question, "Where's home?"  or "Where are you from?" I have to laugh.  What is a simple query for many people presents a deep existential problem for me.  There's the easy answer - California.  The slightly more complex response - New England and California.  And the full monty:  Well, I moved from Maine to New Hampshire when I was six, to California when I was thirteen (and that's where my parents still live), went to college in Massachusetts, and now I live in Korea.  Whew.  Sorry, pal, you didn't know what you were getting yourself into when you were just trying to make small talk.

It's the classic TCK struggle, which I am confronting later in life.  I was never a TCK, but as a twenty-something expat, there's a lot of similarities.  My first time living overseas, I felt homeless - there was no one place that I belonged.  In talking to my sister, though, she brought me to see myself as homeful.  No, I do not have an easy and automatic answer to "Where's home?"  But there's a richness in having a tapestry to weave in my response, a physical and emotional journey to the person I am constantly in the process of becoming.

Skimming the list of songs I had selected for the month so far, the playlist's title came to me:  "Homecomings/Homegoings".  Within the summer, and even August alone, I came home so many times - but also left homes behind.  I've greeted old friends, forged new relationships, said tearful goodbyes.  I feel like I am constantly stepping out of one world and into another.  I bloom where I'm planted, so I will almost always fall in love with the world which I find myself a part of.  While I am highly future-oriented, I will often dream of a future within that world - my career trajectory in Korea, or what I'll do next summer at the program I worked at.  But it's hard to look out at all the worlds in which I am not present and see what I am missing.  And so, I am learning, always learning, to find the beauty in my situation.  I consider myself lucky beyond all reckoning to have friends and homes across the world.

"Where we love is home.  Home that our feet may leave - but not our hearts." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

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Currently reading:  books upon books of readers' theatre plays
Current high:  first drama classes tomorrow!!!
Current low:  even after reading three dozen plays, I haven't found one I love for my exploratory!

Full Force

The pace of my life over the last few months has not allowed time for sufficient sleep, much less blogging.  Apologies!  It's been a heck of a ride...here's what's up.

• Finished my first official year of teaching (woohoo!)
• Moved my belongings from my intern apartment to my new apartment, shared with my MS/US drama counterpart SW
• Spent a week with my family on Cape Cod, interspersed with catch-ups with friends
• Had the most intense, insane, incredible summer job, which gave me...
• a skewed sense of time
• mild to moderate issues with caffeine dependency
• a renewed sense of confidence and self-assuredness
• dozens of new friends who mean the world to me
• Left my summer job at 5PM Friday, took three planes to Korea, and began work at 8AM Monday
• Unpacked my new apartment (mostly)
• Started settling into my new classroom - although I am still waiting for my purchase order!!
• Planned my first trip of the school year to Cebu with my roommate

I have mountains of reflection to do on all of that - it has truly been a whirlwind.  Coming back to "real life" has been hard, largely because amidst all those transitions, there was barely a moment to take a breath.  (I know, I know, I made this choice, I have to live with it.  And truly, I don't regret it!)  I am so looking forward to having the students arrive tomorrow morning - they are why I do what I do, they will give me purpose :)

Given that today is my last day off before school begins, I'm off to make a few trips of "stuff" to and from school, cook lunches and dinners for the week ahead, and treat myself to a mani-pedi with the roomie.  For now - I'm back, so watch this space!

**********
Currently reading:  The Other Queen by Philippa Gregory
Current high:  SW and I went food/apartment shopping yesterday so it's really starting to feel like home
Current low:  the school year hasn't even started yet and I think I'm already getting sick!!

A List of Names By Which I Am Known (other than my rightful name)

I've ordered them from making most sense to least, in my reckoning!

* Ms. Hud
* Ms. Hudgkins
* Ms. Hubbbbbbkins
* Ms. Humpkins
* Ms. Pumpkin
* Ms. Munchkin
* Ms. Science
* Ms. Drama
* Ms. Piggie

Ah, the joys of teaching early years ESOL kids :)

**********
Currently reading:  Anne of Avonlea and Will Grayson, Will Grayson
Current high:  starting making plans to see my best buddies in two weeks!!!
Current low:  it seriously has not hit me that the end of the year is nigh - moving in five days, saying goodbye to my kiddos in eight, and flying home in ten.  WHAT?!

LGBT Rights: Exhibition 2014

I briefly mentioned in my non-exhaustive list of totally awesome things I can't believe I get paid to do that I had the opportunity to be a mentor for our G5 students' exhibition.  It was such a joy to partner with a group of passionate, creative, and thoughtful students for eight weeks.

The display board the students created to share their unit.

For those who may not be familiar with PYP, toward the end of a student's elementary career (typically G5 or G6, depending upon the school), they have an entire unit of student-driven inquiry.  In small groups, the children choose and research a topic about which they are passionate, with the goal of taking some sort of culminating action.  At our school, once the students have been grouped and chosen their topic, they are assigned a knowledgeable mentor to guide them through the process.  Enter Ms. H!  Thanks to my buddy BB who teaches G5, I was assigned a group of four bright and bubbly students who were inquiring about LGBT rights.

One side of the brochure the students made and handed out...

...and the other side!

We had a really amazing unit together.  They conducted interviews via Skype and email with friends and family members of mine who identify as LGBT; we discussed tolerance and acceptance; they took incredible action.  After sending a survey out to their peers, they were shocked by how little their own classmates knew and understood about what it means to be LGBT.  In their responses, some students even said that if a friend came out to them, they would stop being friends.  I pointed out that this group had their work cut out for them, and their action was in their own community.  In addition to their presentation on Exhibition Night to their parents and throughout the week to other classes, my students reached out to teachers and grade levels to share their learning.

Presenting to G3 students during Exhibition.

 

One of the things that made me most proud was their attitude.  While they were passionate and driven and cared deeply about their chosen issue, they recognized that it is not possible to change everyone's minds overnight.  Their goal was to educate, and help people to create their own informed opinions.  They were sensitive, thoughtful, and warm.  I learned so much from them.  (I can't figure out how to caption a video, so now, go watch the trailer they made!)

While I have always seen myself as an early childhood educator, every time I work with older students, I warm to them a bit more.  After this summer, I will have done some sort of formal work with every grade level and age group from infancy to high school.  I'm learning that they're not that scary (even though a lot of them are significantly taller than me) and they're incredibly interesting and fun to talk to, learn with, and teach.  I am so grateful to have the opportunity to teach every elementary grade next year as well as support middle and upper school drama; deciding what grade I want to teach full time can wait at least another year!

Me with my kiddos!

Last but certainly not least - a BIG thank you to all those who supported this project, particularly the friends who agreed to be interviewed by my students or reached out with resources to share with them!  So, so grateful for your support.

**********
Currently reading:  same as yesterday!
Current high:  weekend in Seoul with my girls coming up
Current low:  can't shake a cold I've had for four weeks now...

It only takes a spark...

Quick but exciting follow-up on my previous post about teaching sexism.  After the great conversation we started in 3C, a few of the students reflected on it in their journals the following day, and Ms. W also made space for me to share the issue with our female empowerment exploratory, Girls on the Run.  Since then I've had a few great affirming moments, opened some more thoughtful discussions, and felt really good about the progress my students are making on this issue - and that I as their teacher am making in addressing it with them.  I could share the story of a kindergarten girl telling me, "You are so strong!" and being able to tell her that is the best compliment she could give me; I could tell you how GP, a boy from 3B, came over and got me when one of his peers said girls didn't like spicy food because they were too weak; I could relate to you the wonderful and meaningful moments I have shared discussing gender and feminism with colleagues and parents.

But here's the most exciting part.  My friend KM teaches PE at our school, primarily to grades 1 and 3.  Among other things, we bonded over our shared belief in serving as positive role models for the girls in grade 3 who otherwise have no female teachers.  Yesterday during faculty meeting, she came and shared a story with me.  She was telling my kids about how she ran a race against a high school PE class and beat them all.  One student raised his hand and asked her, "Are you a boy?"  KM wisely took advantage of the opportunity to open a conversation about sex, gender, and ability in the world of sports and physical fitness.  As she did so, KM told me that several students exclaimed, "We know about this!  We talked about this with Ms. H!"  She said they went on to have an interesting and productive discussion.

I was absolutely overjoyed.  With just one tiny spark - RL standing up and saying it wasn't fair for her to be excluded based on her gender - conversations are springing up organically all across grade 3 and the Village School.  Teachers and students are owning those moments and opening one another's minds.  My children have been listening, internalizing, processing, and moving forward in their understandings.  I am just so proud of them :) More to come soon, I am sure!

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Currently reading:  Anne of Green Gables and Journey to an 800 Number
Current high:  the kindergarten play is looking SO CUTE
Current low:  it's lunchtime and the caffeine still hasn't kicked in ;)

Teaching Sexism

Oh goodness.  My dear readers.  I am SO sorry for my lengthy absence from posting!  I felt like I didn't have anything new and interesting to say for a while there.  But yesterday I had a really surprising and thought-provoking experience that I would love to share.

For our current project in science lab, one class struggled to put themselves into groups, so they were assigned to groups of four at random.  One particular group is composed of three boys and one girls.  This isn't all that unusual - there's more boys than girls in grade three this year, so they're all able to cope.  At one point, the female student in this group, RL, came to me to express her frustration.  She told me that the boys wouldn't tell her their plans for the project or let her help.  This isn't all that unusual - I have had similar conversations with lots of groups of all different compositions.  I went over and spoke with all of them about functioning as a team and including all members in the design process.  After addressing both factions' concerns, I left them with one of the boys, RK, explaining their vision to the whole group.

A few minutes later, RL stormed up to me again, telling me the boys wouldn't let her help because what they were doing was "too dangerous" and she couldn't do it because she was a girl.  I was absolutely floored by this.  I went to the group again, and asked them why the task (cutting a hole into a plastic bottle) was too dangerous for a girl.  They hemmed and hawed and said they didn't know.  I asked if it was too dangerous for me, and they said of course not.  I introduced them to the term "sexism" and explained that girls can do anything boys can do.  We connected to one of our core values, fairness, highlighting that it's not fair to tell girls there is something they cannot do simply because of who they are.

I walked away from the interaction with a sour taste in my mouth, and I felt like I hadn't handled it as well as I could have.  Obviously I think it is so important to educate my students on equality at a young age, especially in a culture as patriarchal as South Korea.  But in that moment, I felt powerless to articulate that in an appropriate away.  I could explain it to a high school student, a college student, an adult.  I simply felt that I had not done everything I could with that teachable moment.  I agonized over it all evening, discussing it with a friend and ultimately emailing my principal, a fellow feminist educator.

I had a chance to sit down with Ms. W this morning, which was so useful.  She reminded me that one important thing to celebrate was that RL did recognize that the situation was wrong, and she stood up and took action when she was a victim of sexism.  She also pointed out that even though I may not feel 100% confident in the way I handled the situation, I modeled for RL how to question their behavior and opened a dialogue with those boys.  She encouraged me to continue the discussion with the whole class, and reminded me that it's all about the small conversations - I am not going to teach my students to smash the patriarchy in a single day.

Right after that discussion, I had about ten minutes with my class, so I did just that.  I began by explaining that something had happened during science lab the previous day that had made me uncomfortable, and I wanted to discuss it with all of them.  Without using names, I explained that there had been some boys who told a girl there was something she couldn't do because it was too dangerous for girls.  I told them my feelings that it is not fair for girls to be denied tasks and roles within groups because of their sex or gender, and asked for their responses.

We got into some really interesting stuff - one student said he thinks boys are more embarrassed or ashamed if a girl beats them or is better than them.  Some feelings about organized sports in P.E. also came out, with the girls explaining that they are often told they have to be on defense and they never get the ball.  One male student, SL, was saying that boys have stronger muscles and are better at kicking.  This particular boy's older sister is a soccer superstar, so I pointed that out to him, which seemed to make him reconsider and think in a new way.

Unfortunately we had to cut the conversation short because I forgot I needed to go teach science downstairs (oops), but I thanked them all for discussing their thoughts and ideas with me because it is something I am very passionate about.  I also let them know that I am eager to continue the conversations, either as a class, in small groups, or individually.  I also took a moment later to reach out to RL and tell her how proud I was that when she had people behave toward her in a way that she knew was wrong, she stood up and took action.  I am really interested to see how this will affect their classroom dynamic and interactions in the coming days.

I have always prided myself on striving to be a strong female role model for my students, and I am fairly confident that most of them see me that way.  (I've beat several of them - boys and girls - at arm wrestling, which helps!)  But now I see that just as important as that - if not more so - is to lift up my female students in the eyes of their male peers.  I can teach my girls how to be strong, but I also need to teach my boys how to see and value that strength.

Before I close, I want to say how grateful I am.  I have supportive mentors who inspire me to reach new heights.  I have patient friends who listen to me rant and rave about feminism and pick their brains, and who aren't afraid to challenge me.  I have a family who gave me an incredible upbringing that allowed me to become open-minded and accepting.  I have amazing students who are little sponges, always learning and synthesising and constructing new knowledge.

And now I turn it over to you - how do you teach sexism?  How would you broach conversations on sexism with this age group?

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Currently reading:  The Prince of Fenway Park

Current high:  long weekend ahead, finally making a trip out to Seoraksan and the East Coast

Current low:  low on sleep so far this week

Cry, Cry, Cry

Over the past couple of years, I have experienced an enormous amount of self-discovery and personal growth.  There are a lot of parts of myself that I have learned to accept, and others that I work on consistently.  But one part of my personality drives me absolutely crazy and I just don't know what to do about it.

When I get angry, or involved in any sort of confrontation, I cry.

Take today, for instance.  I went in to talk with our middle school PE department about a policy they have in their intramural sports (goals scored by girls = double points, which feels sexist to me).  I spent a lot of time thinking about possible solutions, brainstorming with like-minded friends, and writing out a bulleted list of ideas.  I was really excited for the conversation, and I tried really hard to set the scene for an open dialogue.  I came in and began by acknowledging them as the experts on their program and students, and asking some questions about the intramural program.  Then I made a couple of suggestions.  Each one I made was quickly dismissed - not without explanation of the reasoning behind it, but it felt to me that as soon as they heard I was coming, they had closed their ranks and their minds.

When I made my third suggestion and it was abruptly cast off when the words had barely passed my lips, I felt it beginning.  The lump in my throat, the slightly ragged breathing, the blurred vision.  Suddenly glad I had brought my water bottle, I routinely sipped from it to keep my throat open, and fiddled with my necklace to keep my hands and mind busy.  As I fought the urge to let the tears fall, I lost the courage to open my mouth and say anything back, knowing that trying to speak would put me in a compromising situation.  The words "your Western sensibilities" and "a bit of a feminist" and "it's empowering for girls" washed over me as I focused on nodding and keeping my eyes open wide and continuing to breathe.  It was all I could do to whisper "Thank you for taking the time" before rushing out the door and blinking hard, pushing the welled-up tears out.  A few minutes later, I wiped my face, checked my makeup, and went straight back to work.  That's how I deal - put your head down and keep going.

But to me, that's not what this is about.  Sure it was a frustrating conversation, and I walked out feeling like I had not been heard or gotten my point across.  My biggest disappointment, though, was in myself; maybe if I'd had a better handle on myself emotionally, I could have articulated myself more clearly and had a more productive talk.  I pride myself on being a passionate person - but how is that an asset if I can't affirm my beliefs and opinions without saline dripping down my face?  I get all fired up and am ready to speak my piece, and then when my feelings are about to overflow through my eyeballs, I fear I will be dismissed as weak.  My choices are to either shut down emotionally and shut up verbally, or cry and face the potential consequences of the assumptions people will make.

"It's okay to cry," people tell me.  "It's important to let it out," they say.  Of course.  But there's a time and a place and an important meeting is neither.  Oh, and I know that not everyone will immediately dismiss me if I break down into tears.  In fact, I had quite the opposite happen in a meeting with Ms. W earlier in the year, which was reassuring...but that's just not the norm.  Honestly, this is so incredibly frustrating to me; I returned to my classroom after the meeting and found myself doing an online search for "how not to cry when you're angry."  I tried some of the suggested strategies as I continued my struggle to regain control over my tear ducts, but pinching myself and holding my breath didn't seem to do it for me.

To be frank, I'm not entirely sure of the point of this post.  I don't have some nice closure with which to wrap up my tale, nor any pithy words of wisdom.  I have only frustration and confusion about how to move forward in my personal journey - I don't know how to accept this part of myself, but I don't know how to change it either.

**********
Currently reading:  stalled on my latest read, but recently downloaded How To Be A Woman...I'm vibing some feminist reads
Current high:  great dinner and movie date with one of my buddies tonight
Current low:  isn't it obvious?

A non-exhaustive list of totally awesome things I can't believe I get paid to do.

Otherwise known as, reasons my job rocks.

• Give and receive a zillion hugs on the daily
• Have a 45-minute dance party with a bunch of elementary schoolers
• Spend 8 weeks mentoring a group of incredibly bright grade 5 students on their chosen research/action project, gay rights
• Lead empowerment seminars and go running with girls in grades 2 through 5
• Read aloud from my collection of Princess Stories with Attitude to my favourite first graders
• Change third graders' attitudes toward math and their own problem-solving abilities
• Inspire and watch "aha!" moments as students make new connections
• Perform in a parody of "Do You Want To Build A Snowman?" from Frozen

 

• Dress in crazy costumes (Paper Bag Princess for dress-as-your-favourite-book-character day?  Heck yes.  I deeply regret my lack of photographic evidence.)
• Read excellent works of children's and young adult literature
• Be totally crazy-goofy-silly
• Make theatre with kids of all ages, both onstage and behind the scenes
• Teach side-by-side and collaborate with unbelievably talented, inspiring, funny, and loving people
• Change lives.  Every day.

And that's just this week.  Who knows what new insanity the next five days will hold? :)

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Currently reading:  Still Orphan Master's Son
Current high:  no plans weekend!
Current low:  battling time zones and scheduling woes

It's the b*tch of living (overseas)

Alright.  Allow me to open by saying that I absolutely love my life.  I'm very good at blooming where I'm planted, and I definitely feel lucky to be in a job that I love surrounded by an incredible community.

HOWEVER.

There are times when it really, really sucks to live overseas.

I had one of those moments on Saturday night.  A dear friend of mine from college is getting married this summer, and I had been hoping that the fates would align and the date might fall on one of the weekends when I could get time off from my summer job.  The electronic save-the-date card arrived while I was out dancing this weekend, and alas:  two weeks after I come back to Korea, she and her beau will say their vows.  I looked hopefully to see if it would be possible to fly back for the weekend, but it was too much to pay for too little time at their celebration (and WAY too many hours on airplanes!).  I woefully sent my reply along with a few gifts to share my joy at their continuing life together.

This afternoon, I received a message from the bride that simply warmed my heart and brightened my day.  She thanked me so sincerely, and assured me she knew it was a long shot that I'd make it out.  But then, the clincher:  a warm and wonderful reaffirmation of a deep friendship.  Even though I haven't seen her in nearly a year now and we talk only rarely, she is always close to my heart.  Hearing her say again how much she loves me was so heartening.  A little reminder like that goes such a long way.

When you live overseas, or anywhere that keeps you far from your loved ones, it can feel extremely isolating at times.  You gaze longingly as two of your best friends jokingly post on each other's Facebook walls while sitting in the same room; you sigh as another three are tagged in a picture at a birthday celebration.  It can be heartbreaking knowing that you can't be a part of it.  But a small gesture - a Facebook wall post, a Valentine in the mail, a text message - goes so far.

So I end this post with a challenge to you.  Think about your loved ones who may be far from you, and reach out with a small reminder that you care.  I promise you, it will change their day.

**********
Currently reading:  The Orphan Master's Son by Adam Johnson, who spoke at CI today!
Current high:  the crazy stuff I have done for children this week...stay tuned for a post on that ;)
Current low:  weird headaches all week :-/

Time To Say Goodbye

As anyone who follows me on Twitter knows, today was a very emotional day.  First and foremost, all of the Village School students performed at the second annual dance show, Dolphins Like To Move It!  My third graders did an AMAZING job and I was (and am) simply bursting with pride.  Seriously, check out their sweet moves here.  I also had a great time collaborating with our school's dance teacher on making the show happen this week.

Just look at my sweet tiny darlings.  How cute are they???

But all that excitement and pride was tempered with bittersweet sadness.  Unlike in the American school system, the Korean school year starts in March.  This means that our big season for student withdrawals is...well, right now.  Today we had to say goodbye to two third graders:  one from 3A (the class I worked with first trimester) and one from 3B (my current class).  We celebrated these transitioning students with gifts, cards, snacks, and promises that this isn't goodbye - it's just see you later.  BK from 3B was devastated to be leaving; we've seen a lot of tears from him this week, which was just so hard to watch.  My co-teacher and I gave him all the reassurance we could.  He is such a sweet and sensitive boy, and I know he'll make wonderful new friends and be remarkably successful.  We've promised to share the results of our upcoming science experiments with him on Edmodo (like Facebook for classrooms).

I got to give BK one last hug before he went home at the end of the day, and was worried I wouldn't catch my 3A kiddo, KL.  As luck would have it, as I rushed out to catch the bus after my parent meeting, there he was!  I got a big hug and a promise to keep in touch.  He was such a lively, spirited, funny kid - a real presence in the classroom and the school.

I hate goodbyes.  (To be fair, I don't think there's anyone who really likes them.  But you'd think given how much and how far I've moved in my lifetime, I'd at least be a little better at them.)  I spent the bus ride home crafting emails to both children, expressing my sadness to see them go, my positive vision for their future, and my hope that they will email me from time to time and visit whenever they can.  My heart was overflowing as I typed out my good wishes for them, but it never felt like quite enough.  I only hope that they - and all of my students - understand how deeply I care for them, no matter how far they go or how long it's been.  I truly believe that as a teacher, my greatest strength (and sometimes my fatal flaw) is how much I love my kids.  I am so incredibly invested in each and every child's success and well-being and happiness, and I will do everything in my power to try and help them toward a good life.

**********

Currently reading:  The Orphan Master's Son by Adam Johnson - who will visit CI next week!

Current high:  my kids' dance performance, I seriously couldn't stop grinning my face off

Current low:  not knowing when I'll see those munchkins again :(

Drama, Drama, Drama

...but don't worry, only in the theatrical sense ;)

I realized it had been a bit of a while since I posted!  Things are getting super busy here at CI, here's what Ms. H has been up to...

• I had been working with a group of seven grade 4 students who wrote plays on staging and rehearsing them.  After a crazy final week of gathering props, creating backdrops, and rehearsing on the big stage, they put on a show for most of the Village School on Valentine's Day!  Check out the final product here.  It's certainly not perfect, and we all learned a lot.  Their teacher has suggested he may have them write one more play before the year is out - this time with a few long scenes instead of so many short ones!
• You may recall way back in the beginning of the year when I talked about House.  In January, they decided to switch up some of the House activities, and added one called Theatre Sports.  As the resident Village School thespian, I was tapped to plan and implement these activities.  The challenge?  Finding and leading a competitive theatre activity that will engage 40 - 80 students for 45 minutes.  I had my first session with one of our largest grade levels, grade 2, on Friday.  Giving instruction was difficult to be sure, but they had fun, and the teachers offered their compliments on the way out!  Stay tuned for video to come the next time I lead the activities!
• Kindergarten is gearing up for a full-grade theatre production in May.  I've been doing some technical advising about the easiest ways to have students create backdrops that don't have to be hung (yay for projections!) and collaborating on doing some simple readers' theatre with small groups.
• Since our school does not have an elementary drama program this year, I have no supplies for my program next year!  It's purchasing season, so I spent several evenings trolling online sites for resource books, props, wigs, hats, and decor.
• Grade 1 is also working on a drama unit right now - so much theatre happening!  I'm guest teaching a lesson on what feelings look like in our faces and bodies tomorrow.  This is probably my favourite grade to teach, so I'm pretty stoked :)
• Our school has a student visiting for two months who is getting her BA in Contemporary Performance Studies, and she has a particular interest in how drama increases confidence for ELL students.  I cannot tell you how many people met her, then came to me and told me that we just had to be introduced!  She helped out with our grade 4 group, and I look forward to continuing to collaborate with her.
• On Thursday evening, I'm jetting off to Singapore!  The wonderful Ms. W helped me get school funding to attend a PYP workshop on encouraging children's creative instincts in the classroom.  I am so excited to get some more guidance on how to build an inquiry-based, student-centred drama program for my kids...and catch a few rays!
• After flying back from Singapore overnight on Sunday, I'll kick off Monday morning with rehearsals for the VS dance show the following weekend.  That should be an interesting week...!

And of course, it's not all drama.  We've also got some regular old grade 3 stuff :)

• For our change unit, we have resumed science lab!  So far we have planted bean sprouts and watered them with different liquids (except none of them have sprouted...uh oh, Ms. H has a black thumb); tried dissolving various liquids in water; and chosen several liquids to freeze.  This week we'll be experimenting with heat instead of cold - either microwaving or burning materials.
• My co-teacher was out for two days over the last week and a half, so Ms. H was flying solo.  We did some fun stuff, and the kids and I are comfortable enough together that it doesn't feel much like subbing.  We are reaching that point in the year when they might be a little too comfortable in the classroom, so they're all starting to push a little bit.  The end of the week was a struggle, but we have high hopes for next week.
• I've started researching Masters programs to begin this fall.  Currently debating Instructional Technology and TESOL - advice on which might be more beneficial is more than welcome!

As anyone who knows me will tell you, I love to be busy.  Good thing - I adore the chaos of my dramatic life :)

**********
Currently reading:  Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk
Current high:  brunch with a friend this morning followed by a very productive afternoon!
Current low:  lacking in cooking inspiration :-/

A Change is Gonna Come

Today in 3B, we kicked off our unit on change.

The central idea:  Change is inevitable and happening all around us.
The provocation:  Spend an afternoon modeling an old-fashioned classroom.

Today, my students walked up to the classroom after art class, giggling and goofing around like they usually do, expecting to walk in, be welcomed by Ms. Hudkins, and prepare for mindfulness.  Instead, they were greeted at the door by a stern Ms. Hudkins.  "Please walk in silently, find your seat, and wait quietly for the lesson to begin."

The children entered to find their classroom transformed.  The desks that usually sit in clusters of 4 or 5 were in neat rows, each with a cursive name tag.  They were seated in alphabetical order.  There was no writing on the whiteboard.  A desk for the teacher was moved to the front of the classroom.  They even observed a few changes I made to my own appearance:  hair pulled back, pencil skirt, and heels.  It didn't take long for them to figure out I was serious - anytime sometime talked or whispered to a friend about their surprise, I loudly reminded them that silence was expected inside the classroom.

Then, the lesson began.  I explained that we would be learning cursive writing today.  Each child would practice writing her or his own name, then move on to a series of worksheets in increasing complexity.  I instructed them to raise their hand if they needed anything or finished their work.  They were to work in complete silence.  While they worked, I sat at my desk, grading papers with a red pen and getting up to address students' questions.  If students stood up to blow their nose or get a pencil without permission, they were asked to return to their seats and raise their hands.

After about 35 minutes of silent practice, I had a student collect the worksheets while I began drilling times tables.  We went in order around the classroom from 1x1 to 10x10.  Having finished that, I couldn't handle it anymore, and broke into a smile.  I explained that I had made some changes for the afternoon to help introduce our new unit, and it was time to discuss.  Before I introduced discussion questions, several people burst out with "You were scary!"  One student even told me that he thought Ms. Hudkins had been kidnapped and replaced by an alien or a robot.  I apologized for scaring them, and told them it was really hard for me to be "Mean Ms. Hudkins!"

In pairs and then as a whole group, students discussed the changes they noticed in the classroom, why they thought the changes were made, and whether they liked them.  They made some fantastic observations about the lesson, the classroom, the expected behavior, and so on.  Many of them hated it, but several children did note that it was easier for them to focus on their work in that atmosphere.  The students correctly concluded that this lesson was an example of how classrooms used to be, and it was intended to help them experience change.

Finally, I answered several questions they had.  They included:
"Are we going to keep learning cursive writing?"
"Can we keep the name tags?"
"Where did you put the books that used to be in front of the classroom?"
"Did Mr. Harnish [my co-teacher, who was absent today] know you were going to do this?"
And, my personal favourite, "How did you keep a strict face for so long?"

**********
Currently reading:  Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk
Current high:  off to celebrate a friend's birthday tonight!
Current low:  super sleepy, coming back from vacation is kicking my butt

What A Difference A Year Makes

Well, folks, today is my birthday :) Another year older and none the wiser!  With my birthday so close to New Year's, I find that I am often still reflecting on how much has changed in the past year.  In my last 365 days, I have:

• completed my student teaching semester
• acted as student speaker at Baccalaureate
• graduated from college
• visited more than half of the US states on my third cross-country road trip
• become a licensed teacher
• moved to a foreign country
• begun making a living with the arts
• received a job promotion
• traveled to four countries

That's a remarkable amount of change to undergo in just one year.  It's been a challenging and incredibly exciting year of my life, and I can't wait to see what the next one will hold.

**********
Currently reading:  still The Warmth of Other Suns and Aimless Love
Current high:  great start to birthday celebrations last night, and more to come tonight :)
Current low:  no lows allowed on birthdays!

Just Showing Up

If you've talked to me about teaching and education for more than five minutes, you've probably heard me mention my parents.  As the daughter of two educators, a lot of my beliefs and philosophies have been inspired by them, then solidified as I put them into practice or saw them in action.

One such belief came from my father, who is (among many other things) a high school advisor.  For the ten or so years he's been in that role, on many evenings and weekends I would hear him say that he needed to stop by this wrestling tournament or go hear that orchestra concert or attend someone's arangetram.  To build meaningful relationships with students - especially in such an intimate role, where he works with a group of less than ten students from freshman year to graduation day - takes effort.  You have to know your students, and they have to know you care.

Over the last two weeks, our school's instrumental music program has been putting on a series of recitals showcasing private lessons students.  Maybe a dozen third grade students, plus a handful of others I know from teaching drama or babysitting, were performing over the course of seven recitals.  As part of my responsibilities in the theatre department, I worked four of them.  Before Tuesday's, one of my students finished a final rehearsal and bounded off the stage to where I was sitting with a tech theatre student.

"Hi Ms. H!  Can you come to my recital tonight?" he asked me excitedly.  I was so happy to be able to tell him that I was absolutely staying, and the grin on his face made three extra hours after school worthwhile.  He played brilliantly - a far better pianist than I was at his age, and an emerging cellist.  Three other grade 3 boys performed in the same recital, and I was so happy to be there to give them a high five after their performance.

As Woody Allen said, "Ninety percent of life is just showing up."  I'm not sure that's entirely true, especially for teaching - we've got a lot of other work to do.  But I truly think it makes all the difference to see a child in school and be able to congratulate them on that great assist in the soccer game or their impressive figure skating routine.

Do teachers already have too much on their plates?  Absolutely.  And with a class of 21, is it unreasonable to expect myself to be at every single child's special events?  Definitely.  But when I can, I am so proud to support my students and single them out for their unique talents.  Those are the things they'll remember us for.

Back row:  a pianist, a cellist, and a drummer
Front row: the aforementioned pianist/cellist.
Love my amazing third graders!

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Currently reading:  The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson and Aimless Love by Billy Collins
Current high:  my birthday weekend is almost upon us, shortly followed by a trip to Abu Dhabi!  Plus already scheming for a trip next year with my two best friends...
Current low:  an email from a student who is VERY nervous about performing tomorrow - but I'm so glad she reached out

To Thine Own Self Be True

Well folks, I am thrilled to announce that I will be making a change next year.  Grace H, intern-no-more, has accepted a position as the Village School drama specialist!  I will continue working in the theatre part-time, but half my hours will be spent teaching drama in my own classroom.  I will work weekly with pre-K and kinder throughout the year, and on a rotating basis each trimester with grades 1 through 5.  I am so excited to develop an entire program, create and implement a new curriculum, collaborate with classroom teachers, and coordinate with the middle/upper school drama teacher.  Truly a dream come true :)

As I have mentioned previously, our current unit in grade 3 is focused on self-expression, and my co-teacher and I are focusing on drama.  We have had so much fun playing drama games, analyzing short films and clips from stage productions, and guiding our students through putting on their own reader's theatre plays.  Every time we tell our class it's time for drama, they cheer excitedly.  As Mr. H said to me yesterday as they whooped with joy, "Clearly we're doing something right!"  The idea that I get to spend my days next year sharing my passion with students and hopefully inspiring them to love theatre - just like I have been these past few weeks - is the greatest thing I could ask for.

Since I recognize how unique it is that our school has a dedicated drama specialist, stay tuned for tips for homeroom teachers on incorporating drama into the classroom!

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Currently reading:  The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, and B by Sarah Kay
Current high:  wonderful dinner with friends last night, delicious Thai food delivery tonight, and babysitting my favourite kiddos tomorrow night
Current low:  battling a headache since lunchtime...I'll be calling it an early night

Kid Quotes Collection, part I

You know what they say...kids say the darnedest things!  Here's a collection of the craziest, silliest, funniest things I've overheard from my third graders and middle schoolers in South Korea in 2013.  Happy new year, more to come :)

Third grader:  Ms. H, you're too short to be a teacher!

Middle schooler in response to teachers joking that the kids should take our trays back:  Teachers are like babies.  They need us to take care of them.

Third grader:  Ms. H, are you married?

Me:  Nope!

Third grader:  Pffft.

Third grader [sniffing my sleeve]:  You smell like Ms. H.  And my grandma.

Middle school student to a group of friends:  You're taking selfies without me?!

In response to another third grader who told me to be a witch for Halloween:  Yeah, you look like you should be a witch!

Third grader:  My teacher last year was X.

Me:  Aw, she's so nice!

Third grader:  Yeah, but sometimes kids don't listen when you're too nice.  I like you better.

Me:  ...are you saying I'm mean?!

Third grader:  My best question [for my research project]...what does the fox say?  (Side note:  he was researching the solar system.  Sigh.)

Director:  I got pizza for you guys for snack, but no Coke!  I don't believe in Coke.
Middle schooler:  Pizza with no Coke?!

Third grader:  I want to be in space!  But the food is not yummy.

Third grader:  Ms. H, did you get your hair cut?
Me:  Yes!  Do you like it?
Third grader:  No.

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Currently reading:  The Book Thief
Current high:  catch-up dinner with a dear friend tonight
Current low: likely to crash around 2pm today...uh oh