A List of Names By Which I Am Known (other than my rightful name)

I've ordered them from making most sense to least, in my reckoning!

* Ms. Hud
* Ms. Hudgkins
* Ms. Hubbbbbbkins
* Ms. Humpkins
* Ms. Pumpkin
* Ms. Munchkin
* Ms. Science
* Ms. Drama
* Ms. Piggie

Ah, the joys of teaching early years ESOL kids :)

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Currently reading:  Anne of Avonlea and Will Grayson, Will Grayson
Current high:  starting making plans to see my best buddies in two weeks!!!
Current low:  it seriously has not hit me that the end of the year is nigh - moving in five days, saying goodbye to my kiddos in eight, and flying home in ten.  WHAT?!

LGBT Rights: Exhibition 2014

I briefly mentioned in my non-exhaustive list of totally awesome things I can't believe I get paid to do that I had the opportunity to be a mentor for our G5 students' exhibition.  It was such a joy to partner with a group of passionate, creative, and thoughtful students for eight weeks.

The display board the students created to share their unit.

For those who may not be familiar with PYP, toward the end of a student's elementary career (typically G5 or G6, depending upon the school), they have an entire unit of student-driven inquiry.  In small groups, the children choose and research a topic about which they are passionate, with the goal of taking some sort of culminating action.  At our school, once the students have been grouped and chosen their topic, they are assigned a knowledgeable mentor to guide them through the process.  Enter Ms. H!  Thanks to my buddy BB who teaches G5, I was assigned a group of four bright and bubbly students who were inquiring about LGBT rights.

One side of the brochure the students made and handed out...

...and the other side!

We had a really amazing unit together.  They conducted interviews via Skype and email with friends and family members of mine who identify as LGBT; we discussed tolerance and acceptance; they took incredible action.  After sending a survey out to their peers, they were shocked by how little their own classmates knew and understood about what it means to be LGBT.  In their responses, some students even said that if a friend came out to them, they would stop being friends.  I pointed out that this group had their work cut out for them, and their action was in their own community.  In addition to their presentation on Exhibition Night to their parents and throughout the week to other classes, my students reached out to teachers and grade levels to share their learning.

Presenting to G3 students during Exhibition.

 

One of the things that made me most proud was their attitude.  While they were passionate and driven and cared deeply about their chosen issue, they recognized that it is not possible to change everyone's minds overnight.  Their goal was to educate, and help people to create their own informed opinions.  They were sensitive, thoughtful, and warm.  I learned so much from them.  (I can't figure out how to caption a video, so now, go watch the trailer they made!)

While I have always seen myself as an early childhood educator, every time I work with older students, I warm to them a bit more.  After this summer, I will have done some sort of formal work with every grade level and age group from infancy to high school.  I'm learning that they're not that scary (even though a lot of them are significantly taller than me) and they're incredibly interesting and fun to talk to, learn with, and teach.  I am so grateful to have the opportunity to teach every elementary grade next year as well as support middle and upper school drama; deciding what grade I want to teach full time can wait at least another year!

Me with my kiddos!

Last but certainly not least - a BIG thank you to all those who supported this project, particularly the friends who agreed to be interviewed by my students or reached out with resources to share with them!  So, so grateful for your support.

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Currently reading:  same as yesterday!
Current high:  weekend in Seoul with my girls coming up
Current low:  can't shake a cold I've had for four weeks now...

It only takes a spark...

Quick but exciting follow-up on my previous post about teaching sexism.  After the great conversation we started in 3C, a few of the students reflected on it in their journals the following day, and Ms. W also made space for me to share the issue with our female empowerment exploratory, Girls on the Run.  Since then I've had a few great affirming moments, opened some more thoughtful discussions, and felt really good about the progress my students are making on this issue - and that I as their teacher am making in addressing it with them.  I could share the story of a kindergarten girl telling me, "You are so strong!" and being able to tell her that is the best compliment she could give me; I could tell you how GP, a boy from 3B, came over and got me when one of his peers said girls didn't like spicy food because they were too weak; I could relate to you the wonderful and meaningful moments I have shared discussing gender and feminism with colleagues and parents.

But here's the most exciting part.  My friend KM teaches PE at our school, primarily to grades 1 and 3.  Among other things, we bonded over our shared belief in serving as positive role models for the girls in grade 3 who otherwise have no female teachers.  Yesterday during faculty meeting, she came and shared a story with me.  She was telling my kids about how she ran a race against a high school PE class and beat them all.  One student raised his hand and asked her, "Are you a boy?"  KM wisely took advantage of the opportunity to open a conversation about sex, gender, and ability in the world of sports and physical fitness.  As she did so, KM told me that several students exclaimed, "We know about this!  We talked about this with Ms. H!"  She said they went on to have an interesting and productive discussion.

I was absolutely overjoyed.  With just one tiny spark - RL standing up and saying it wasn't fair for her to be excluded based on her gender - conversations are springing up organically all across grade 3 and the Village School.  Teachers and students are owning those moments and opening one another's minds.  My children have been listening, internalizing, processing, and moving forward in their understandings.  I am just so proud of them :) More to come soon, I am sure!

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Currently reading:  Anne of Green Gables and Journey to an 800 Number
Current high:  the kindergarten play is looking SO CUTE
Current low:  it's lunchtime and the caffeine still hasn't kicked in ;)

Teaching Sexism

Oh goodness.  My dear readers.  I am SO sorry for my lengthy absence from posting!  I felt like I didn't have anything new and interesting to say for a while there.  But yesterday I had a really surprising and thought-provoking experience that I would love to share.

For our current project in science lab, one class struggled to put themselves into groups, so they were assigned to groups of four at random.  One particular group is composed of three boys and one girls.  This isn't all that unusual - there's more boys than girls in grade three this year, so they're all able to cope.  At one point, the female student in this group, RL, came to me to express her frustration.  She told me that the boys wouldn't tell her their plans for the project or let her help.  This isn't all that unusual - I have had similar conversations with lots of groups of all different compositions.  I went over and spoke with all of them about functioning as a team and including all members in the design process.  After addressing both factions' concerns, I left them with one of the boys, RK, explaining their vision to the whole group.

A few minutes later, RL stormed up to me again, telling me the boys wouldn't let her help because what they were doing was "too dangerous" and she couldn't do it because she was a girl.  I was absolutely floored by this.  I went to the group again, and asked them why the task (cutting a hole into a plastic bottle) was too dangerous for a girl.  They hemmed and hawed and said they didn't know.  I asked if it was too dangerous for me, and they said of course not.  I introduced them to the term "sexism" and explained that girls can do anything boys can do.  We connected to one of our core values, fairness, highlighting that it's not fair to tell girls there is something they cannot do simply because of who they are.

I walked away from the interaction with a sour taste in my mouth, and I felt like I hadn't handled it as well as I could have.  Obviously I think it is so important to educate my students on equality at a young age, especially in a culture as patriarchal as South Korea.  But in that moment, I felt powerless to articulate that in an appropriate away.  I could explain it to a high school student, a college student, an adult.  I simply felt that I had not done everything I could with that teachable moment.  I agonized over it all evening, discussing it with a friend and ultimately emailing my principal, a fellow feminist educator.

I had a chance to sit down with Ms. W this morning, which was so useful.  She reminded me that one important thing to celebrate was that RL did recognize that the situation was wrong, and she stood up and took action when she was a victim of sexism.  She also pointed out that even though I may not feel 100% confident in the way I handled the situation, I modeled for RL how to question their behavior and opened a dialogue with those boys.  She encouraged me to continue the discussion with the whole class, and reminded me that it's all about the small conversations - I am not going to teach my students to smash the patriarchy in a single day.

Right after that discussion, I had about ten minutes with my class, so I did just that.  I began by explaining that something had happened during science lab the previous day that had made me uncomfortable, and I wanted to discuss it with all of them.  Without using names, I explained that there had been some boys who told a girl there was something she couldn't do because it was too dangerous for girls.  I told them my feelings that it is not fair for girls to be denied tasks and roles within groups because of their sex or gender, and asked for their responses.

We got into some really interesting stuff - one student said he thinks boys are more embarrassed or ashamed if a girl beats them or is better than them.  Some feelings about organized sports in P.E. also came out, with the girls explaining that they are often told they have to be on defense and they never get the ball.  One male student, SL, was saying that boys have stronger muscles and are better at kicking.  This particular boy's older sister is a soccer superstar, so I pointed that out to him, which seemed to make him reconsider and think in a new way.

Unfortunately we had to cut the conversation short because I forgot I needed to go teach science downstairs (oops), but I thanked them all for discussing their thoughts and ideas with me because it is something I am very passionate about.  I also let them know that I am eager to continue the conversations, either as a class, in small groups, or individually.  I also took a moment later to reach out to RL and tell her how proud I was that when she had people behave toward her in a way that she knew was wrong, she stood up and took action.  I am really interested to see how this will affect their classroom dynamic and interactions in the coming days.

I have always prided myself on striving to be a strong female role model for my students, and I am fairly confident that most of them see me that way.  (I've beat several of them - boys and girls - at arm wrestling, which helps!)  But now I see that just as important as that - if not more so - is to lift up my female students in the eyes of their male peers.  I can teach my girls how to be strong, but I also need to teach my boys how to see and value that strength.

Before I close, I want to say how grateful I am.  I have supportive mentors who inspire me to reach new heights.  I have patient friends who listen to me rant and rave about feminism and pick their brains, and who aren't afraid to challenge me.  I have a family who gave me an incredible upbringing that allowed me to become open-minded and accepting.  I have amazing students who are little sponges, always learning and synthesising and constructing new knowledge.

And now I turn it over to you - how do you teach sexism?  How would you broach conversations on sexism with this age group?

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Currently reading:  The Prince of Fenway Park

Current high:  long weekend ahead, finally making a trip out to Seoraksan and the East Coast

Current low:  low on sleep so far this week

Cry, Cry, Cry

Over the past couple of years, I have experienced an enormous amount of self-discovery and personal growth.  There are a lot of parts of myself that I have learned to accept, and others that I work on consistently.  But one part of my personality drives me absolutely crazy and I just don't know what to do about it.

When I get angry, or involved in any sort of confrontation, I cry.

Take today, for instance.  I went in to talk with our middle school PE department about a policy they have in their intramural sports (goals scored by girls = double points, which feels sexist to me).  I spent a lot of time thinking about possible solutions, brainstorming with like-minded friends, and writing out a bulleted list of ideas.  I was really excited for the conversation, and I tried really hard to set the scene for an open dialogue.  I came in and began by acknowledging them as the experts on their program and students, and asking some questions about the intramural program.  Then I made a couple of suggestions.  Each one I made was quickly dismissed - not without explanation of the reasoning behind it, but it felt to me that as soon as they heard I was coming, they had closed their ranks and their minds.

When I made my third suggestion and it was abruptly cast off when the words had barely passed my lips, I felt it beginning.  The lump in my throat, the slightly ragged breathing, the blurred vision.  Suddenly glad I had brought my water bottle, I routinely sipped from it to keep my throat open, and fiddled with my necklace to keep my hands and mind busy.  As I fought the urge to let the tears fall, I lost the courage to open my mouth and say anything back, knowing that trying to speak would put me in a compromising situation.  The words "your Western sensibilities" and "a bit of a feminist" and "it's empowering for girls" washed over me as I focused on nodding and keeping my eyes open wide and continuing to breathe.  It was all I could do to whisper "Thank you for taking the time" before rushing out the door and blinking hard, pushing the welled-up tears out.  A few minutes later, I wiped my face, checked my makeup, and went straight back to work.  That's how I deal - put your head down and keep going.

But to me, that's not what this is about.  Sure it was a frustrating conversation, and I walked out feeling like I had not been heard or gotten my point across.  My biggest disappointment, though, was in myself; maybe if I'd had a better handle on myself emotionally, I could have articulated myself more clearly and had a more productive talk.  I pride myself on being a passionate person - but how is that an asset if I can't affirm my beliefs and opinions without saline dripping down my face?  I get all fired up and am ready to speak my piece, and then when my feelings are about to overflow through my eyeballs, I fear I will be dismissed as weak.  My choices are to either shut down emotionally and shut up verbally, or cry and face the potential consequences of the assumptions people will make.

"It's okay to cry," people tell me.  "It's important to let it out," they say.  Of course.  But there's a time and a place and an important meeting is neither.  Oh, and I know that not everyone will immediately dismiss me if I break down into tears.  In fact, I had quite the opposite happen in a meeting with Ms. W earlier in the year, which was reassuring...but that's just not the norm.  Honestly, this is so incredibly frustrating to me; I returned to my classroom after the meeting and found myself doing an online search for "how not to cry when you're angry."  I tried some of the suggested strategies as I continued my struggle to regain control over my tear ducts, but pinching myself and holding my breath didn't seem to do it for me.

To be frank, I'm not entirely sure of the point of this post.  I don't have some nice closure with which to wrap up my tale, nor any pithy words of wisdom.  I have only frustration and confusion about how to move forward in my personal journey - I don't know how to accept this part of myself, but I don't know how to change it either.

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Currently reading:  stalled on my latest read, but recently downloaded How To Be A Woman...I'm vibing some feminist reads
Current high:  great dinner and movie date with one of my buddies tonight
Current low:  isn't it obvious?

A non-exhaustive list of totally awesome things I can't believe I get paid to do.

Otherwise known as, reasons my job rocks.

• Give and receive a zillion hugs on the daily
• Have a 45-minute dance party with a bunch of elementary schoolers
• Spend 8 weeks mentoring a group of incredibly bright grade 5 students on their chosen research/action project, gay rights
• Lead empowerment seminars and go running with girls in grades 2 through 5
• Read aloud from my collection of Princess Stories with Attitude to my favourite first graders
• Change third graders' attitudes toward math and their own problem-solving abilities
• Inspire and watch "aha!" moments as students make new connections
• Perform in a parody of "Do You Want To Build A Snowman?" from Frozen

 

• Dress in crazy costumes (Paper Bag Princess for dress-as-your-favourite-book-character day?  Heck yes.  I deeply regret my lack of photographic evidence.)
• Read excellent works of children's and young adult literature
• Be totally crazy-goofy-silly
• Make theatre with kids of all ages, both onstage and behind the scenes
• Teach side-by-side and collaborate with unbelievably talented, inspiring, funny, and loving people
• Change lives.  Every day.

And that's just this week.  Who knows what new insanity the next five days will hold? :)

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Currently reading:  Still Orphan Master's Son
Current high:  no plans weekend!
Current low:  battling time zones and scheduling woes

It's the b*tch of living (overseas)

Alright.  Allow me to open by saying that I absolutely love my life.  I'm very good at blooming where I'm planted, and I definitely feel lucky to be in a job that I love surrounded by an incredible community.

HOWEVER.

There are times when it really, really sucks to live overseas.

I had one of those moments on Saturday night.  A dear friend of mine from college is getting married this summer, and I had been hoping that the fates would align and the date might fall on one of the weekends when I could get time off from my summer job.  The electronic save-the-date card arrived while I was out dancing this weekend, and alas:  two weeks after I come back to Korea, she and her beau will say their vows.  I looked hopefully to see if it would be possible to fly back for the weekend, but it was too much to pay for too little time at their celebration (and WAY too many hours on airplanes!).  I woefully sent my reply along with a few gifts to share my joy at their continuing life together.

This afternoon, I received a message from the bride that simply warmed my heart and brightened my day.  She thanked me so sincerely, and assured me she knew it was a long shot that I'd make it out.  But then, the clincher:  a warm and wonderful reaffirmation of a deep friendship.  Even though I haven't seen her in nearly a year now and we talk only rarely, she is always close to my heart.  Hearing her say again how much she loves me was so heartening.  A little reminder like that goes such a long way.

When you live overseas, or anywhere that keeps you far from your loved ones, it can feel extremely isolating at times.  You gaze longingly as two of your best friends jokingly post on each other's Facebook walls while sitting in the same room; you sigh as another three are tagged in a picture at a birthday celebration.  It can be heartbreaking knowing that you can't be a part of it.  But a small gesture - a Facebook wall post, a Valentine in the mail, a text message - goes so far.

So I end this post with a challenge to you.  Think about your loved ones who may be far from you, and reach out with a small reminder that you care.  I promise you, it will change their day.

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Currently reading:  The Orphan Master's Son by Adam Johnson, who spoke at CI today!
Current high:  the crazy stuff I have done for children this week...stay tuned for a post on that ;)
Current low:  weird headaches all week :-/