Between a Pillow and a Soft Place

I struggle with big life decisions.  As does everyone, I suppose.  Recently I've had a few really tough ones, and a couple more major choices are up ahead.  As I've grown older, I've become more and more reflective.  Even when I'm beyond happy, but especially when I'm not, I look back and wonder.

What would my life be like if I'd...
chosen a different college?
stayed on the wait list at the one school that didn't accept me?
transferred colleges?
not studied abroad, or studied abroad somewhere else?
continued to pursue a year-round position at the organization that runs the summer program I worked for?
turned down the theatre tech half of my position?
chosen my summer job over my full-time job?
left midyear to teach kindergarten at a public school?

One of my favourite Indigo Girls lyrics seems apt here:  "Every five years or so I look back on my life, and I have a good laugh."

As much as I grapple with major choices such as these, I must admit that I am incredibly lucky.  As my father noted when I was working through the last one on that list about a month ago, each big decision I've had to make so far has been between two amazing options.  Later in life I may be faced with choosing the lesser of two evils rather than the greater of two goods.  With all of these decisions as well as the ones in the near future, I know my life will go in an exciting new direction in any event.

My alma mater rolled out a new campaign this year:  never fear / change.  It has two meanings.  One is the more obvious:  to never fear change, don't be afraid of what's ahead.  Step out boldly and use your preparation and training to move forward.  The other is never fear, change.  Be ready to adapt and make alterations as the landscape shifts.  It really resonates with me, and with many other young alumnae I know, particularly in the face of life-altering choices.

Would that I had a hundred lives to live instead of just this one -- I would be in so many places pursing widely varied dreams.  I picture all the alternate timelines that diverge from these major decisions, and I can only hope that the one I have chosen and continue to create is the brightest timeline.

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Currently reading:  The Great Unexpected by Sharon Creech
Current high:  only eight more sleeps until I cross the Pacific!!!
Current low: I've had a nagging headache for a few hours...bedtime soon